How To Create A Wormhole

In this step-by-step tutorial we walk you through the process to create your very own wormhole at home.  It should be noted that wormholes and Einstein-Rosen bridges are not fully understood and that time travel/dilation and apparent faster-than-light travel is potentially dangerous and care should be taken whenever dealing with gravity wells and point singularities.  Black holes can and do kill.

Right, now that disclaimer bit is out of the way, on to the fun stuff.  You should start with a clean and clear room, at least 20'x20'x8'.  There should be no loose items - we will be creating a singularity aka a black hole, and the extreme gravity will pull in any unsecured objects.

MAKING THE WORMHOLE

You will need:

• A cat
• A slice of freshly buttered toast (margarine can be used, but butter is preferred)
• String or glue

Now firstly we will do a couple of experiments to ensure all items required for the wormhole are functioning correctly.

1. ANTI-GRAVITY DEVICE

Our anti-gravity device can be made by taking the string or glue and using it to attach the toast - butter side up - to the cat's back.

This device uses the natural scientific principles of cats, who always land on their feet, and toast, which always lands butter side down.  The maths behind it can be summed up as follows:
F_(total)=3^k√m(F_BTcosθ-F_csinθ)

lim F_(k)=0

2. INFINITE FORCE ENGINE

In a reverse of the above, take the toast and affix it to the underside of cat.  Now you have an infinite force engine, as proven by the mathematics behind the model:

F=F²
F>1 (due to gravity)

Therefore it follows that F=∞

3. WORMHOLE (EINSTEIN-ROSEN BRIDGE)

To create a wormhole we simply feed the toast to the cat.  Due to the massive forces involved, the cat will fold in on itself releasing a huge amount of energy and creating a point singularity.  Due to the maths involved when modelling the falling cat landing on it's feet, we can see that F_BTθ+F_c√θ=0, meaning the singularity is actually a balanced and stable Einstein-Rosen bridge - aka a wormhole! Congratulations!

Note: This is just an experiment to demonstrate the creation of a wormhole.  Travel through the wormhole should not be attempted.  Do not put any part of your body in the wormhole or past the event horizon.  Doing so will result in a matter-frequency phase discrepancy, and may result in the permanent loss of affected body part.  Do not use a cat you are particularly fond of.  The creation of a wormhole will result in the explosive implosion of the cat as it's mass is turned to energy.